Soundtracks

The Lion King - Live Broadway Show - Original Soundtrack
Lavender - OST - Not too sure if this is it, because I was given this a long time ago.

Dreaming about planning out my death

Its funny, how I'm not dying, yet I'm already thinking of what to do to make sure that my family doesn't have to do too much planning. Its weird, and this is how I fall asleep at night. Besides wanting company. The more I want something to happen the more I feel stupid about myself. Weak. Miserable. When I don't care...heh. Yeah right, like I can really become the 'I-don't-care' person anymore. Thats gonna take some work. Typing on the blog is easier than writing on paper, because i'll have to constantly cross-out and rewrite it when i can just in one swift click I can delete something.

No Time.

Why do I feel like I don't have time for anything anymore?
I want to quit my work, but I can't because I don't want to be limited to how much I spend. My parents tend to make me re-think whenever I want to go out by saying, 'Stop wasting your money, you only get XYZ'. Hence I work. I get to drink and eat whatever I want. I only work once a week now. Not a big deal, not a big enough reason for me to quit anyway.

Feeling emo again.

I cant' seem to get my school work over with.

I can't focus.

My management is really weak.

Oh darn....

Well since its the new year. I should just make a new blog.
I have yet written or update anything in my diary.
Man I feel like my whole life is right before me.
Computer...Laptop....oh boy.

Should have been dead....

My biological mother should have fight for me back then, because that way my father might have really killed me. Because I can't stand living right now.

I have a father who thinks he's right and when you say something to him that sounds negative he says, 'oh now I'm wrong about everything'. In cantonese.
I try to be more open about things - trying to have my dad look at my views or a glimpse of it.
So he can be stop being a child.
Everything I say gets flip around.

Even thought she's my stepmom I try to look from her point of view too.

Fuck this!

Calm winds & drizzle; Wednesday; 十二月九二00八年

A friend is when you lend them money (a small amount) and you don't wouldn't care if the return it.

Learn something at least once a week.

Windy Day; Sunday 十二月七二00八

Wow.
Its so funny to be reading previous entries. And to see how over dramatic I was each and every time. I've been having my moments too frequently now, it actually starting to scare me a bit. I guess this is my way of reminding myself.

Heh. Don't know what else to say or update.
Just want to remember that I had one day of a calm weekend.
Not entirely peaceful since I have a paper due on Thursday.