Nothing to say.

I hate it when I have nothing interesting to say.
I don't feel like I'm engaging in the relationship.
Maybe thats why I'm so playful, I make a fool out of myself and then something interesting happens.

Why am I such a boring person?

Oh well back to work.

//Aneko//

I actually have the urge to blog before going to sleep.

So I'm working on my math homework and I look at the time and its 2 in the morning. Granted I don't have class until 2pm. So why sleep so early. These couple of days I've been feeling all bubbly. The happy kind. How long will this one last? I don't want to give in too early which is why nothing is official yet. Its just so hard to explain.  Being in Stony Brook and living in West, I feel like I'm in an apartment and that freedom feels so good. But once summer vacation hits I know life will go back to my cage, where I am obligated to do everything for my family. But this time I won't be too upset about it. Because I know I have him to talk to and he will make my day. But at the same time the guilt is still there. So I have to decide to end it or keep it. Which is why not a lot of people know, because its not establish. If I end it, there will be no third chance. And I will only be breaking my own heart this time. Who knows when I'll piece is back together and open the windows again. Life is all about chances I guess. Maybe after two month, the feeling will be gone and if he was to end it at least I won't fall too hard, because the strings are not attach yet. Since I've been with him, I want to look good, but at the same time I don't want to lose my identity. My outfit is what make me feel the way I am, confident, strong, and open-minded. Maybe if one year hits I might just dress up. Just once. But its still too early to think about. I need to first focus on my exams and then my love life can come forward.

FIGHTING!

/Aneko/

Feeling Stupid.

Why the hell did I try last night?
I was frightened? Annoyed?

//Aneko//

I made it....not really.

Yesterday I got a phone call.
I got accepted to the Respiratory Care program.
I should be jumping up with joy. Having a little party of my own.
Sadly, I am failing one of the required classes, and I can't seem to move away from the reality.
No matter how I keep telling myself all the positive things that can happen.

Why am I like this?

I have to stop. I can't let people around me worry about me.
I need to cut my social life into half. Even more than half. I need to hide and study.

Who knew I actually drink half a smirnoff ice, because of my terrible mood.

I only had one, but I'm sleepy, so much for building up tolerance.

//Aneko//

三月二十六號 - 雨天

Wow its been three months since I last updated.

Whats there to update.

Absolutely Nothing.

_Aneko

一月十五號 -青天

Today was a good day. I met up with my two girlfriends, Maggie and Cindy, we had breakfast at Ritz Cafe. It was nice, girl talk, doing some catching up, and it feels almost homey.  So I did that from 9-11, then I met up with Diana to go to Chinatown to meet up with another group of friends. Andrew, Michelle, Sumen and Diana (Chinese classmates from Hunter College). We grabbed lunch at Kobama. It was nice, I almost choked to death when we were talking about how people talk in 'code' and she said when she was talking to her brother, her brother who is gay, said he was playing some 'monopoly' and she said 'oh i want to play monopoly too' and thats when i choked! omg it was bad hahaha.

During my conversation with Maggie and Cindy:
Man, why is everyone on his side!!!!! My gfs are like, 'aww you guys are so cute, you guys should go out'. My friend Cindy said that the kid looks very reliable, smart, he won't cheat on you. But she agrees with me that his english is what turns me off. BUT a total genuine kid, like my roomie and Anne said a while back. Yo all this talk is going to convert me over sooner or later. I think this is the 4th day I haven't chat with him online or on the phone. Its so weird, I'm so use to his cling-ness.

再見

一月十四號 - 青天

今天我跟我的朋友去iceskating. 真好玩.
Went to Bryant Park by 1pm skated for two hours. We bumped into Emily and her friends. Apparently she never ice skated before, but she's a fast learner, at least compared to her other friend who was shaking an her and half on the ice. From there we went to eat at John's Pizzeria. Not sure why its good, but the service was okay, only it took forever for us to locate our waiter to give us the check. The annoying part was Illoneete never came to ice skating with Miguel. When I called them they said they were on the train and next stop was Jamaica. And I'm like okay, wth? After they arrive they decide to eat at Penn Station. Again, wth? Then they text us and said they're at MoMa while we were still eating. wth? So I told them to go look around and stuff for the time being. If they joined up with us, they wouldn't be left hanging, but then again, its not like they came to meet up with us. At least they were able to have a 'date' in the city.

 

再見