pochakoxb
Auto Response from Aoshi916
Aoshi916 (11:07:16 PM) : you too nelina ^^
pochakoxb (11:07:26 PM) : ....
pochakoxb (11:07:35 PM) : <_<...
pochakoxb (11:07:41 PM) : dude...what did you just call me?
Aoshi916 (11:07:42 PM) : LOL
Aoshi916 (11:07:53 PM) : i'm so soryy
Aoshi916 (11:07:57 PM) : sorry*
Aoshi916 (11:08:13 PM) : wrong tab pikachui
Aoshi916 (11:08:16 PM) : >_>
pochakoxb (11:08:23 PM) : So whose Nelina?
pochakoxb (11:08:26 PM) : huh?
pochakoxb (11:08:27 PM) : huh?
Aoshi916 (11:08:44 PM) : a friend..only a friend
pochakoxb (11:08:52 PM) : o_Ohmmm....
pochakoxb (11:09:13 PM) : well you lucky you corrected yourself or I would have taken back my greeting and band you from my aim.
pochakoxb (11:09:23 PM) : You little brat.
Aoshi916 (11:09:23 PM) : = (
Aoshi916 (11:09:33 PM) : how am i spoiled?
pochakoxb (11:10:05 PM) : Because i should have went a little more dramatic - but since you're David i'd let you slip by. Thats why.
pochakoxb (11:10:30 PM) : SO so so whose this Nalina..huh? huh? hee hee.
Aoshi916 (11:10:36 PM) : lol
Aoshi916 (11:10:47 PM) : again, my bad steph
Aoshi916 (11:10:59 PM) : so did you celebrate yesterday?
pochakoxb (11:11:18 PM) : well we had Hot Pot..no Turkey.
pochakoxb (11:11:52 PM) : What about you?
Aoshi916 (11:11:56 PM) : nope
Aoshi916 (11:12:29 PM) : i was kind of in a foul mood yesterday...
pochakoxb (11:12:44 PM) : wow..
pochakoxb (11:13:03 PM) : you're the third person...besides me who was in a bad mood yesterday.
Aoshi916 (11:13:14 PM) : lol rly?
pochakoxb (11:13:24 PM) : Weathr pretty much was the main reason for me, other than my lack of family tradition when it comes to holidays like this.
pochakoxb (11:13:36 PM) : I promise myself that when I have kids, is going to be BIG..and FUN.
pochakoxb (11:13:42 PM) : Not just sitting around waiting for dinner.
Aoshi916 (11:14:27 PM) : i'm not a big fan of kids..my mother talks to me about HER grandkids >_>
Aoshi916 (11:14:41 PM) : i'm like wtf, i don't want kids...
pochakoxb (11:15:12 PM) : Psh, no mini Davids for me to play around...
pochakoxb (11:15:14 PM) : awwww
pochakoxb (11:15:25 PM) : ROFL
Aoshi916 (11:15:29 PM) : O_O
pochakoxb (11:16:05 PM) : Its not that bad...if you have one.
pochakoxb (11:16:08 PM) : just one..
pochakoxb (11:16:14 PM) : not like...4
Aoshi916 (11:16:57 PM) : children are like pets.....really expensive pets that talk back too
pochakoxb (11:17:22 PM) : So that means you're a pet too...
pochakoxb (11:17:25 PM) : (pat pat)
pochakoxb (11:17:37 PM) : (pat pat)
Aoshi916 (11:17:37 PM) : you too you know....
pochakoxb (11:17:46 PM) : I'm not complaining am i?
Aoshi916 (11:17:57 PM) : neither am i
pochakoxb (11:18:11 PM) : If you teach your 'pets' well they won't bite back.
pochakoxb (11:19:06 PM) : My father did a half-ass job with me so HE shouldn't be complaining, he should be glad that i'm still virgin, not taking drugs, not robbing, and not making him grandpa at the age of 19, unlike some of my co-workers.
Aoshi916 (11:19:28 PM) : ....
pochakoxb (11:19:44 PM) : Okay that was a little dramatic..
Aoshi916 (11:19:49 PM) : *nods*
pochakoxb (11:19:53 PM) : Erase that from your memory....
Aoshi916 (11:20:00 PM) : can't...
pochakoxb (11:20:06 PM) : I'll just send Xavier after you then...
Aoshi916 (11:20:14 PM) : *doesn't mind*
pochakoxb (11:20:15 PM) : You cannot live after hearing this.
pochakoxb (11:20:21 PM) : oh yeah...you don't..
pochakoxb (11:20:27 PM) : darn...nothing to threaten you with.
Aoshi916 (11:20:52 PM) : anything explicit or sexual related sticks to my mind like glue...it's guarenteed to be remembered for the next 24 hours......
pochakoxb (11:20:57 PM) : .....
pochakoxb (11:21:04 PM) : how did what i said even near sexual?
Aoshi916 (11:21:19 PM) : virgin was part of it
pochakoxb (11:21:25 PM) : like thats a surprise....
Aoshi916 (11:21:26 PM) : not to mention first on your list
pochakoxb (11:21:43 PM) : well that was my mom's first concern when i dated.
pochakoxb (11:21:48 PM) : heh.
Aoshi916 (11:24:10 PM) : you went out with only one person right?
pochakoxb (11:24:20 PM) : yup
Aoshi916 (11:24:31 PM) : how come it didn't work out?
pochakoxb (11:24:37 PM) : I got dumped...
pochakoxb (11:24:42 PM) : He didn't give me a clear reason...
pochakoxb (11:24:57 PM) : Assuming he dumped me so he can go back to his ex-girlfriend.
Aoshi916 (11:25:05 PM) : ......
Aoshi916 (11:25:11 PM) : bastard...
pochakoxb (11:25:15 PM) : Only from what I heard like a year ago he cheated..
pochakoxb (11:25:22 PM) : he got cheated*
Aoshi916 (11:25:30 PM) : at least give a reason dammit
pochakoxb (11:25:48 PM) : oh he...gave me bullshit i don't even remember because it was so farfetch...
pochakoxb (11:26:29 PM) : But we started communicating thru e-mail, only we stopped recently...
pochakoxb (11:27:43 PM) : someone was surprised that i manage to stay single for.......4 years.....
Aoshi916 (11:28:44 PM) : talkin about him?
pochakoxb (11:29:19 PM) : not in detail..just how i got dumped...
pochakoxb (11:29:53 PM) : and then i just focus back on them
pochakoxb (11:30:00 PM) : they have like the weridest...relationship...
Aoshi916 (11:30:12 PM) : i meant was he that someone who was surprised that you "managed" to stay single
pochakoxb (11:30:46 PM) : oh no...actually throughtout our e-mail we never mentioned about relationship...its like we never dated.
pochakoxb (11:30:56 PM) : Thats the feeling i get.
pochakoxb (11:32:00 PM) : I'm actually getting tired of being single, but all those who 'chase' me are BLACK.
Aoshi916 (11:32:33 PM) : O_O
pochakoxb (11:32:57 PM) : yup yup
Aoshi916 (11:32:57 PM) : must you see people by their race?!
pochakoxb (11:33:39 PM) : I'm more for asian people. Anyway two out of three personality pretty much sucks...
pochakoxb (11:33:53 PM) : one smokes weed, the other does sex in school.
Aoshi916 (11:34:42 PM) : w....t.............f
pochakoxb (11:35:10 PM) : Thats what I tell myself...
Aoshi916 (11:36:24 PM) : i g2g
Aoshi916 (11:36:26 PM) : ttyl
Aoshi916 signed off at 11:36:31 PM.
aoshi916 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
pochakoxb (11:36:46 PM) : heh, i guess the scare you too.
___________________________________________
Why the hell did I say all these things to him? Am I freaking stupid!? Suddently I felt like it's not me typing. I suddenly have this urge to be more open about things, I sound such a arrogant bitch. Why should he know that I'm tired of 'being' single...I mean this is suppose to be something I talk to girls, not guys. Oh my god, I feel like I just scared him off. I feel like a total retard. When he signed off that quick...i'm like either he really got to go, or he thought that I don't sound like the usual Steph. Everyday now I put up this face and this alttuide so my parents wouldn't be worried. Trying to fullfill people's needs. I think I might break down soon, again. I feel sick. (great now i feel like crying). I shouldn't cry, there are people out there who have it worst than me. Like my co-workers, one who lives with her grandparents because she doesn't feel secure, her father is all pro-his second wife, her mom is jobless, she's separated from her little brother. Another one who was kicked out and have to support herself. Why should be crying, be unsatisfiy with what I got. I live free under my parents, I have a laptop, I have things that most came from my parents (after a few 'credits' of being a good daughter). Why? I keep telling myself this but I just feel more and more hateful toward myself. I don't question my existence now, all I want is to get my fucking degree and take care of my parents. I don't care if I can't find myself a guy to have a family with. I just want to have a non-overstress LIFE.
My head, my thinking process is all jumbo up. I can't think straight. I can't find myself doing something productive other than BITCHing ONLINE! What the fuck is wrong with me. I feel so useless, lifeless, to the point I really wish I die...but then again I can't leave my parents, not at the moment, they need me, they can't go thru another lose....Its ridiculous of WHY I even type these bullshit things out! I'm slamming the keyboard like its really that durable. I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm fucked up. I say things that doesn't correspond with my mind, similar to when I type. I feel so uneducated. So dumb. So uncultured. SO FUCKING FUCKED UP!
I have to stay away from my friends....I can't let them see me the way I am. This is not me...This is not who I want to be.
Oh my fucking god, every time i feel so miserable I turn my hate toward my parents, my mom. I hate it...they fucked up my life. I'm fucking scared. Because of what I saw and went thru. I feel so depress..omg.
Every week my little brother ask me if i have time to play with him, will i be able to finish my homework this week. I feel so stupid, I told myself i would not neglect him. But it can't be helped. I'm slow. I have trouble comprehend complex things. I don't think outside the box.
I want to scream.
___________________________________________
Why the hell did I say all these things to him? Am I freaking stupid!? Suddently I felt like it's not me typing. I suddenly have this urge to be more open about things, I sound such a arrogant bitch. Why should he know that I'm tired of 'being' single...I mean this is suppose to be something I talk to girls, not guys. Oh my god, I feel like I just scared him off. I feel like a total retard. When he signed off that quick...i'm like either he really got to go, or he thought that I don't sound like the usual Steph. Everyday now I put up this face and this alttuide so my parents wouldn't be worried. Trying to fullfill people's needs. I think I might break down soon, again. I feel sick. (great now i feel like crying). I shouldn't cry, there are people out there who have it worst than me. Like my co-workers, one who lives with her grandparents because she doesn't feel secure, her father is all pro-his second wife, her mom is jobless, she's separated from her little brother. Another one who was kicked out and have to support herself. Why should be crying, be unsatisfiy with what I got. I live free under my parents, I have a laptop, I have things that most came from my parents (after a few 'credits' of being a good daughter). Why? I keep telling myself this but I just feel more and more hateful toward myself. I don't question my existence now, all I want is to get my fucking degree and take care of my parents. I don't care if I can't find myself a guy to have a family with. I just want to have a non-overstress LIFE.
My head, my thinking process is all jumbo up. I can't think straight. I can't find myself doing something productive other than BITCHing ONLINE! What the fuck is wrong with me. I feel so useless, lifeless, to the point I really wish I die...but then again I can't leave my parents, not at the moment, they need me, they can't go thru another lose....Its ridiculous of WHY I even type these bullshit things out! I'm slamming the keyboard like its really that durable. I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm fucked up. I say things that doesn't correspond with my mind, similar to when I type. I feel so uneducated. So dumb. So uncultured. SO FUCKING FUCKED UP!
I have to stay away from my friends....I can't let them see me the way I am. This is not me...This is not who I want to be.
Oh my fucking god, every time i feel so miserable I turn my hate toward my parents, my mom. I hate it...they fucked up my life. I'm fucking scared. Because of what I saw and went thru. I feel so depress..omg.
Every week my little brother ask me if i have time to play with him, will i be able to finish my homework this week. I feel so stupid, I told myself i would not neglect him. But it can't be helped. I'm slow. I have trouble comprehend complex things. I don't think outside the box.
I want to scream.
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