Feeling Unhappy at the Moment.

Maybe it is the stress of studying and how I feel constricted to be in the study mode.

After a few days, after the last entry, he said "love you" after our wonderful day at the beach. So I felt better.

But now, I am not happy.

Maybe it is asking too much for him to get a hint that I want him to attempt to try to study with me for my anatomy course. If he suggested or even show interest to what I am learning I have all the resources for him. Even when I already said that he should study with me. So he can help me improve and do better on the next two exams. But he didn't even offer. All he keeps saying is how he's researching for jobs to apply for, or researching interview questions for companies. He has 24 hours a day and he doesn't do it everyday. So why can't he spend some time studying the anatomy with me? I'm the one who is stuck in school studying. I am so unhappy that I don't even want to say anything else.

I want him to come take care of my basic needs while I study. He can't even do that.

When I talk to him, when we talk about a certain topic, he make me feel retarded because he keeps rejecting my idea on the topic instead of wordings things in a more comforting way.

I am already stressed enough.

I can't even smile today when I webcam with him. He didn't even ask if I was busy, and if I was, can I spare 15 minutes to check out the outfit he is going to wear for interview. Its like automatically I am not doing anything important.

I said something stupid last night, and today I send him a e-card from 123 greetings. His respond was '...lack of creativity'. In my head, my mind was 'What the fuck?'. No, "Thank you" or "its okay". Even though we made up that same night, I still felt sending him a ecard was appropriate. That totally made me feel like crap.

When I e-mail him things he doesn't respond back. When I kinda expect some sort of comment. When I don't respond to his, he ask me if I receive it.

Right now I am not happy.