Who am I kidding.

I hate emos and I'm every full moon become one of the.
How pathetic.
I smile and laugh and encourage around everyone. But can't I do that for myself. I don't know maybe I'm longing for someone I can pour my heart too. Just someone who I can just call or be with and not say a word. Or just hear them talk. Someone I can feel a connection. Common interest. Something. Maybe its just me. Maybe i'm not applying myself to gain some sort of interest like everyone else. Some people like this certain author or anime and I don't bring myself to look into it. This shit reminds me how Ting use to recommend this and that and each time I said I will look into it and I never did. Pathetic.

Lets make a list of why I feel Pathetic:
1. I am a horrible role model for my little brother. I am bringing him up the wrong way according to my little sister because everyone in the family is spoiling him. While she thinks that because everyone is spoiling him that she shouldn't put in any effort to teach him.

2. I can't seem to ever clean my room even if I try it still looks the same. Can never seem to organize things the way my little sister does, who accomplish it so well.

3. Constantly feeling that I don't have the ambition to do well in school. I would study for hours and never a good result.

4. I feel pointless. Hence I watch pointless animes.

5.