So today, my friend Vicky, came for a quick visit. We chatted for three hours. She got me thinking about my relationship with my boyfriend. I love and care a lot about him. But atthe same time I feel I shouldn't throw my whole body into it. Because it's still too early. I don't feel like he demands too much from me. At the same time he doesn't demand much. I want him to do certain things and vice versa with him. But Vicky got me thinking thT maybe I am not into the relationship. And that I am being with him because he was my first. I mean I honesty don't think that just because he was my first I expect myself to marry to him. I just don't feel or see myself with another guy. I express how much I miss him and I really do. I think about him. the only reason why I am not being crazy and attach because it will only give me a lot of stress I feel. He's over there working and I'm over here studying. That is our priority. At night we would be on the phone until he goes to bed. I have my own thing he has is, I don't want to be all over his space and I don't him to be all over mine.

I know he thinks about me and I do too. But we are at that stage where we don't have to constantly say I love you. It would be nice if he says it more often. Or buy me stuffs without me saying I want it.

I don't know. I feel like I want to expect more but at the same time I shouldn't.